It’s just that it’s getting really hard to get over that “design this week’s session and then show up to run it” hurdle. As long as I get myself to the table and actually start running the game for my excellent players, I’ll end up having fun. Once you do, your attitude will follow your actions. Even if you don’t think you want to do something, you should do it anyway. That’s a line I stole from the brilliant Dennis Prager. Now, I don’t think you should let your mood dictate your actions. And that makes it really hard to actually want to put in the prep work and then show up to run games every week. I love my players and I mostly have fun when the sessions get going, but stuff keeps coming up during my prep or during the sessions themselves to remind me that I’m really struggling to like the latest incarnation of the game I’ve been playing all my life. And I’m going through another spate of frustration and annoyance with the system despite my pledge to just kick back and enjoy the game and not take it too seriously. I’ve been running a personal, weekly, online D&D game for a while now. And it also helped me understand a perceived – and totally anecdotal – difference I’ve noticed between what players think of the current edition of D&D and what GMs think of it. And it helped me understand some of the reasons why I was feeling pretty down on D&D again lately. Now, I’m not saying it wasn’t interesting. Particularly the two-part article I wrote picking apart all of Dungeons & Dragons’ design flaws based on Mark Rosewater’s criteria for what makes a game a game. That said, my last couple of bulls$&% articles – settle in, by the way, because this is my monthly rambling, ranty bulls$&% article – my last couple of bulls$&% articles have been pretty negative. You don’t get mad about things you don’t care about. I get angry about them because I’m passionate about them. But I actually do love role-playing games.
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